A retired man, sitting in a recliner, says to his wife, who stands in the kitchen doorway, “Since we no longer have a newspaper to fetch, I taught him how to check the newsfeeds for me,” about the family dog typing at a laptop computer. more

An employee, looking at an empty desk piled high with work, looks sad and stunned when his boss tells him, “it’s a lateral move, you’ll now be getting all of Kramer’s work too.” more

Members of a board meeting look surprised when a CEO asks for “All those in favor of NOT running our little venture through legal …” more

A CEO, sitting at his desk, asks his managers, “How can you all say I don’t have a sense of humor when I laugh all the way to the bank?” more

An employee looks surprised when his boss tells him, “I hate making you feel guilty, but I’ve had great success with it in the past.” more

A businessman walks past a homeless person, who holds his hat out saying “Sir, congratulations on the record Dow …” more

As a business owner shakes the hand of his second-in-command, he says, “Now that you’ve risen to second-in-command of my company, Osward, remember just one thing. To me you’re still just a flunky.” more

A manager, speaking to an older employee who has a box on his desk, says “After watching the clock for 25 years, it’s only right we send you off to retirement with a watch.” more

A job applicant looks stunned when the human resources manager tells him, “You say here you’re eager to ‘push the envelope.’ Great! We’ll place you in the mail room.” more

A businessman looks stunned, when listening to a voice mail message, he’s told to “Please leave a message after the beep and this short advertisement --- “ more