Posted May. 5, 2008
If you are a leader, you feel it in your gut: Stress is at an all-time high. No wonder. The uncertain economy keeps everyone, even those who work for successful companies, slightly off-balance. Doing more with less has become a way of life: fewer dollars, fewer employees, and what feels like fewer hours in the day.
And now that globalization truly has taken hold, we must collaborate with people at the proverbial four corners of the earth. It all adds up to anxiety overload. Helping your organization manage excessive, chronic anxiety is your No. 1 job.
Why? Because it means ensuring that employees operate on principles rather than emotions. When people stay in low-grade panic mode, they can no longer think clearly, creatively and flexibly. They make irrational decisions. When the irrational decisions start adding up, the company isn’t long for this world.
Dismal as this scenario sounds, there is some good news. Rather than accepting the cost of excessive anxiety as a way of life, you can change your organization for the better. Here are a few suggestions:
• Strive to be predictable. The least stressful companies to work for are those in which the rational system – the officially stated goals, values, policies, procedures, job roles and so forth – is a fairly accurate description of what actually transpires on the average workday. This means that the rational system and the emotional system are reasonably well aligned.
When there is a conflict between the rational system of an organization and its emotional system, the latter will usually prevail. Employees tend to disregard the rational system when the emotional system contradicts it. They will, for instance, ignore their written job descriptions if the emotional system rewards them for doing something else. The emotional system of an organization is simply more compelling than the rational system. It’s personal.
• Map the anxiety in your situation. Because anxiety feels uncomfortable, we tend to play “Hot Potato” with it. We dilute the pain by passing it on to someone else. When you understand this mechanism, it is possible to figure out where your anxiety originated.
Draw a circle that represents you and other circles labeled with the names of those around you. Use arrows to indicate where anxiety is coming from and where it is going. Interestingly, you may find that some of your anxiety is coming from a family member or even a figure from your childhood. Once you have mapped your anxiety, you can start to defuse it.
• Learn to take an “I-position.” When you have to solve a problem, it is tempting to worry about how your decision will affect the feelings of other people. But keep in mind that you will never please everyone. It is impossible. Trying to control the reactions of other people is anxiety-driven behavior, and it results in only more anxiety. To take an “I-position,” you need to make a principle-based decision rather than one based on feelings and personalities. It is true that taking an I-position may temporarily cause anxiety to rise ... but in the long run, the entire system will be able to calm down.
• Calm yourself with a six-second vacation. When you are in a situation that makes you feel anxious, you must distance yourself from it before you can think clearly. No matter where you are, try these techniques. Inhale for two seconds, sending the air where you need a little help. Exhale for two seconds, releasing all muscle tension in your body, starting at the head and moving to the toes. Do nothing for two seconds.
• “Detriangle” yourself. Did you know that any relationship between two people seeks to stabilize itself by pulling in one or more third parties? Triangles are perfectly natural, but they can sometimes create even more anxiety. The good news is that you can “detriangle” yourself. Here is how:
Look for the objective cause of the anxiety that has led the triangle to rise.
Take sides with issues, not with people. Take an “I-position” and state it clearly.
Maintain an independent one-on-one relationship with each of the other members of the triangle.
• Correct an overfunctioning/underfunctioning relationship. Overfunctioners take over responsibilities that belong to another person. Underfunctioners allow this to happen. It is a reciprocal relationship – neither can exist without the other – and both parties are reacting to anxiety. Needless to say, too much of this type of behavior is unhealthy for both people and for the organization as a whole.
Fortunately, either party can break the cycle by taking the all-important I-position. If you are an overfunctioner, realize that you are not responsible for someone else’s success or failure. You cannot do his job for him, even if he is a subordinate. If he fails, he fails (but he probably won’t). On the other hand, if you are the underfunctioner in the relationship, you must realize that your long-term passive approach serves to maintain the other person’s overfunctioning behaviors (micromanaging, controlling, etc.). Get clear on your responsibilities and take actions that will reverse the overfunctioning/underfunctioning cha-cha.
Because everyone in an organization is connected, you cannot change your own behavior without changing the entire system. It is impossible. Sometimes these changes are subtle; sometimes they are profound. For example, I had one client who learned to manage his own anxiety and, as a result, averted a strike, saved his company $6 million, and earned a major promotion.
Taking responsibility for yourself – giving up the need to blame or control others – actually requires a tremendous amount of courage. That is the stuff leaders are made of. •
Jeffrey A. Miller is the author of “The Anxious Organization, 2nd Edition: Why Smart Companies Do Dumb Things.” He works with companies to increase their organizational effectiveness through his company, Jeffrey Miller + Associates.
